i lost my virginity on the first date. never sleep with the first date you meet. dates are all assholes and they don’t even taste that good. lose your virginity to a fruit that you truly love
y’all bleed outta your vaginas
once a month, your panties look like a fucking murder scene
you are basically giVING BIRTH TO THE FUCKING LINING OF ONE OF YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS
and yet you just go about your daily business like
girls are fucking badass.
when a cop yells “freeze” you can yell back “now everybody clap yo hands” and he is required by law to start clapping or else he will be arrested for treason and possibly deported from the country